Whether you are traditional or a hopeless romantic then you probably have been fantasizing about your wedding since a young age. As a girl you could’ve dreamed of selecting the perfect white dress for your wedding, whilst as a boy you may have been attracted to the idea of the ‘eternal soulmates’.
Well, before you can get to the stage of officially merging your life with your significant other, traditionally there tends to be a proposal beforehand. Conventionally this is performed by man, however, in the 21st century it’s completely acceptable if the woman decides to take that step.
Nevertheless, weddings are a big thing—a life-long commitment for many. So how do you know if both you and your partner are ready to start this new chapter of your lives together?
If you are uncertain on what to do then below you can find a few tips that may help you see more clearly and ultimately consolidate your decision.
Step 1: Ask yourself: “Am I ready to spend the rest of my life with this person?”
Often, especially in long-term relationships, the idea of marriage is not an option, but a must. Due to the tradition, people are expected to marry and then settle down and start a family.
Regardless of today’s generation’s modernity, many born after the year 2000 were still encouraged to do so. Some research actually shows that the Gen Z are committed, taking long-term relationships more seriously than Millennials as they have witnessed the negatives of the hookup culture.
Step 2: Find the reason behind your choice.
It is important that you keep in mind the reason you are proposing. Is it because it’s expected of you by your family or perhaps partner?
Be aware that your opinion regarding marriage may differ from your partner’s who may have been raised religiously or traditionally.
As much as you love your significant other you shouldn’t allow them to pressure you into a life-long commitment as that may result in a toxic environment. You should also remember that just because you are not keen on marriage does not mean that you are lacking affection towards them. Simply, you may have a different way of thinking which the other one should respect.
Step 3: Open communication.
If you are hesitant and feel like you need a year or two longer before the wedding then feel free to inform your partner. At the end of the day they will become the person that you will be spending your days with.
It may even be easier if you state your intentions fairly early on in the relationship. This may include a certain age you would like to reach before proposal or if you even want to get married.
Marriage for many is very important and if you feel like you are incapable of it then informing your partner about it as soon as possible would be the wisest decision.
Step 4: How does your partner feel about this?
You cannot solely rely on your own emotions when making decisions as big as this. Sometimes it happens that you are ready and completely in-love, but your partner still decides to refuse your offer.
You must consider the seriousness of your relationship and whether you two are a match.
Often in long-term relationships you don’t notice that you two have gotten incredibly comfortable with each other and that the youthful passionate fire that used to be present has died down. You may seek to fix that, bit first ask yourself whether that is truly necessary.
Step 5: Go for it.
Hesitation whilst planning a proposal is normal and could cause you to re-evaluate your whole relationship within a few seconds. However, if you have thought about it previously and you are aware that you don’t wish to return to the dating life then there shouldn’t be anything necessarily holding you back.
After popping the question (with possibly even a customized ring) and your partner possibly joyfully accepting your proposal you may feel a wave of calmness and relief washing over you.
Step 6: There is still a long way to go.
The proposal is the first step, marriage and saying “yes” at the altar is a larger leap. Regardless, there is no need to rush into instant commitment. Some people experience some changes within their relationship after engagement, be that bringing them closer or at times further away.
Marriage and engagements are not necessary for one’s happiness and can still enjoy the same affection with their partner without a label.